“Do not cast me off in my old age.” —Ps 71:9 

Bishop John N. Tran

In October I will return to Vietnam after 31 years to exhume the remains of my mother and oldest brother. Both were killed during the Vietnam War and buried on our property which was confiscated after the fall of Saigon in 1975. I wanted to return in 2020, but COVID-19 foiled the plan.  

Their remains will be reinterred next to my maternal grandparents according to their wishes. In planning for the upcoming trip, I recall the first time I met my maternal grandmother in 1993. She asked me, “who are you”? I could only have a brief conversation due to her illness. Looking back, I don’t have memories with any of my grandparents growing up; what a loss for me. 

This year, we celebrate the Fourth World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly, instituted by Pope Francis in 2021 to remind the church of the beauty of growing old and the obligation of us as Catholics to honor the elderly and their inherent dignity. In the United States, the celebration has been transferred from the fourth Sunday in July, near the feast of Sts. Joachim and Anne, to the Sunday after Labor Day, this year on Sept. 8. It is a day to consider how we view those growing old in our society.  

As the Holy Father wrote in February 2022: “Youth is beautiful, but eternal youth is a very dangerous hallucination. Being old is just as important—and beautiful—it is equally important as being young.” 

The elderly are at risk of being ignored in what Pope Francis calls our “throwaway culture,” in a culture that has increasingly become self-centered. As Catholics who follow the way of Christ, we are called not to ignore but to accompany our brothers and sisters along this journey of life.  

In his letter this year for the World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly, the Holy Father gives us the example of Naomi and Ruth to emulate. In the Book of Ruth, the elderly Naomi tells her daughters-in-law to go out on their own as she is a widow who has lost her children and is of no use to society; Oprah kisses Naomi and leaves, while Ruth stays by her side. “To all of us, who are accustomed to the idea that solitude is our unavoidable lot, Ruth teaches that in response to the plea ‘Do not abandon me,’ it is possible to say, ‘I will not abandon you.’” 

Over the years as a priest, I have seen the faces of those who feel lonely and abandoned; I have been with those who have lived long and precious lives and feel they are now nothing but a burden. As we honor our grandparents and elderly among us, how can we ensure each person knows they are a blessing, not a burden? Let us follow the way of Ruth and say to our elderly brothers and sisters, “I will not abandon you.”  

An elderly woman reacts as she meets Pope Francis during his general audience in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican in this March 2017 file photo. CNS photo/Paul Haring

Let us embrace the dream of Pope Francis, that “The arrogance of the time on the clock be converted into the beauty of the rhythms of life.” At a time when people are living ever longer but feeling ever more isolated, we are called to see the blessing of reaching out, of sitting with those who can tell us their stories or perhaps have forgotten those stories. Let us just sit, let us accompany, let us enter into what Pope Francis calls in his March 2022 catechesis: “the dialogue between the generations.” It is this dialogue that keeps each of us rooted, continuing to bear fruit for God’s kingdom. 

May we all remember and honor the beauty of each step along this journey of life; wherever you are on that journey, may you remember that God will never abandon you or cast you off in your old age. Life does not end at 60. Our worth is not calculated in “doing” but in being a beloved child of our loving God. 

In the elderly, or if you are blessed to still have your grandparents, what do you see in them? When you look at them, do you see the wisdom in their eyes? Do you consider the wrinkles on their faces a road map of their lives—telling the story of sorrow and joy, pain and praise? Can you see beyond the aged bodies and into their beautiful souls?   

I hope you treasure the elderly, and especially your grandparents. Otherwise, it’s your loss.