Georgia Bulletin

The Newspaper of the Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta

The Big Question: ‘What Do Women Want?’

By LORRAINE V. MURRAY, Commentary | Published July 22, 2010

We were sitting out on the back deck listening to the chorus of cicadas and katydids when my husband brought up the age-old question, “What do women want in a guy?” He said that he had been bandying about ideas with some male friends.

Something deep inside me prompted me to say “I know what many of my Catholic women friends want.”

We want a man who will protect us from bad guys who might come prowling around in the night. We want a man who will hold us when lightning splits the sky in two and tree limbs bang against the house like the arms of an angry giant. A man who will calm us when the phone rings at 3 a.m., shattering our dreams with bad news.

We yearn for a man who will love us unconditionally even if we fall off the diet wagon for the hundredth time. Someone who will tell us we are still beautiful on the days when we are sure the mirror suggests otherwise. We want a guy who will get us smiling again when we’ve had one of those days—when the oatmeal boils over, someone side-swipes our car and the dog absconds with the meat loaf.

We want a man who will make us chicken soup when we have the flu. Drive us to our mammogram appointment and sit there patiently in the waiting room even if it takes an hour before the doctor declares, “You’re fine!” A man who will stand by us even if the doctor announces that something is terribly wrong.

We want a man who will forgive us if we go on a shopping binge at the mall and come home with our tenth pair of white shoes. A man who will just chuckle when the living room looks exactly like a page from a trendy home magazine—but it’s the “before” photo.

We long for a man who will stand up before God and, through the sacrament of marriage, vow to stick with us forever. Someone who will kneel down beside us at Sunday Mass, pray with us and walk up the aisle with us to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. We want a guy who is courageous enough to defend the teachings of the Catholic Church, especially when it comes to life, even in a world that mocks them.

If we have children, we want a man who will take fatherhood seriously. Someone who will protect his little ones, no matter what, and work two jobs if that’s what it takes to keep the larder stocked. A man who won’t be too tough to get down on his knees and pray the rosary with his family.

Above all, we yearn for a man who will try to do what is the hardest thing in the world. To mirror Christ’s love to family and friends, and to cheerfully sacrifice when necessary. A man who will love the Lord with his heart, mind and soul. And who will help us to do the same.

Lorraine Murray’s latest books are “The Abbess of Andalusia,” a spiritual biography of Flannery O’Connor, and “Death in the Choir,” a mystery set in Decatur, Ga. Artwork is by Lorraine’s husband, Jef. The Murrays are parishioners at St. Thomas More Church. Readers may e-mail them at