Valentine’s Day is a day that just doesn’t seem to go away.

It keeps returning year after year, only to put holes in the wallets of great men everywhere. Contrary to popular belief, February 14 is not a day of love. It is a day of sorrow.

Consider the following. Every year on Valentine’s Day, men everywhere endure the sheer pain and torture of making sure their significant others are entertained and swept off their feet … even more than the past year.

This demanding ritual is especially true for high school guys. Not only do we have to make sure our little high school sweethearts are happy and feeling loved, but we also have to do it on a very tight budget. I mean, let’s be realistic here ladies, working at the local Chick-Fil-A doesn’t exactly make a bouquet of flowers easily obtainable (this I know from personal experience).

As I’ve been reflecting on all of these ideas over the past couple of weeks, I realized something else about Valentine’s Day. It has the worst mascot in holiday history. Let’s think about this—Santa Claus is a little far-fetched but believable, and the Easter bunny is a little scary but still realistic. Cupid, on the other hand, is just plain weird. Who made up the idea of some half-naked guy flying around shooting people in the posterior to make them fall in love? Honestly now, who believes in a magic arrow that can make you find your soul mate? Personally, if I ever saw a half-naked baby flying around holding a bow and some arrows, I would call the police, even if it was February 14.

Then consider the idea that girls can make guys feel guilty by telling them not to buy them anything for Valentine’s Day. Ladies, this little trick works because now we know we have to do something, or we are going to be in the doghouse for sure. For all you guys who have not experienced this little taste of reverse psychology, if a girl says “don’t buy me anything,” you’d better get her double of whatever you have already planned or purchased.

In conclusion, I would just like to let all the ladies know that I’m just joking and that Valentine’s Day is one of our more meaningful holidays. In fact, it might just be one of the best holidays because it gives us guys another excuse to show you how special and treasured you really are.

And if any girls out there are interested in an available 17-year-old guy, you can find me all around the south side of the archdiocese.

I hope everyone had a happy and blessed Valentine’s Day!