By Bob and Janet Krick

“Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided…” – St. Bernard.

Lo, how many times have we and our seven sons and four daughters beseeched our Blessed Mother with this powerful plea during these almost twenty-nine years? Hundred and hundreds – with many more to come in the years ahead!

Without faith, hope and trust we would not have come through this vale of tears to this point! Yes, tears, indeed, and mingled with joy after joy as well, for which we are grateful! Were we not grateful why would we have selected the Gospel story of the ten lepers for the Gospel reading at our glorious silver wedding anniversary Mass?

But as the years roll rapidly on and we see the darling little blond boy who at four years of age was frequently found rubbing gently the body of Christ in our Pieta statue and asking, “Mommy, why did they make Jesus bleed?” and who now refrains from attending Mass and receiving the Body of Christ – our faith is tested, and we hurt!

Or, the son who was the most pious First Communicant as well as choir boy you ever wanted to see, who today not only hides from the church but is unwilling to make a marital commitment, although steadily partaking of all its pleasures and shunning the responsibilities! Our faith is tested again! And we hurt!

Two sons in residential psychiatric treatment which takes heart, mind, body and tons of money we don’t have to keep them going; and what precipitated these two situations? One major thing for certain – marijuana and all its attendant factors – and sometimes inadequate educational settings and the street gangs frequently composed of unloved kids. Don’t ask us to legalize marijuana! Ask us to write a book on how it tears a family nearly to shreds and what it does to brilliant minds! Our faith is again tested – and almost, at times like the present, our hope too! AND WE HURT!

A daughter who hates drugs and sin and loves virtue has wept for her brothers in difficulty. A daughter who “made” it through Catholic high school happily for the most part and went off to college and reported she could NEVER have survived the pressures – academic, social, sexual and drugs – without frequent Mass participation all of those four years. And your faith, hope and trust increase – joyfully! And the hurt lessens until … you realize there are six more of God’s precious gifts still at home to point in their direction to Heaven! And interestingly, three boys and three girls!

How can they and we survive the world in its present condition and still “make it through” our visit here on earth on our way to return to our Father in Heaven?

The “present condition” includes pitfalls for every family member in so many directions. Existing liberal moral views and values of many parents and peers, irresponsible TV programming of pre-marital sex, abortion, nobody working at the marriage except the proverbial “third party,” nudity, slander, along with overdoses of violence thrown in for thrills and chills – all are served up in gigantic portions for young and old alike, like whipped cream on a hot-fudge sundae special! AND not even a let-up with the advertising … pushing of material pleasures, the frenzy over body culture (you can look better, feel better, smell better if ..) – in short, “be something other than the person you really are!”

In addition to the bumper stickers that say “have YOU hugged your kid today?”, we need a couple that say “have YOU unplugged the TV today?” or “do YOU know what YOUR KID is watching?’

Some of our better family times have been when our TV has been broken and we haven’t had the time or money to get it repaired. All of a sudden the children realize they have brothers and sisters or, for that matter, father and mother in the same room with them or that someone is speaking to them other than the advertisers.

How can God get through all this without arriving with the Star Trek crew or piercing the adversary with his hottest lazer beam? What channel have we put God on? Does He have primetime in our family life together? Or doesn’t He even get on the late-late show since primetime was all used up by the “boob-tube”?

Other pitfalls … the ridiculous farce displayed by the movie industry in their so-called “ratings”! A super abundance of “R” rated movies out-number, out-run and predominate even the 99¢ cinemas which families could best afford if they were decent. Peer pressure again rears its ugly and threatening head as your kids wonder, “What’s the matter with you?”, when their friends have seen three times the hottest “R” in town and want them to go along on the “better-than-ever” fourth rendezvous. Desperation sets in! Pitfalls? Yes!

Evils of every kind trying to win us over to the hand of Satan? Yes! Economical and financial trials and strains? Yes! All these assail the family today to seek to destroy it or, much worse, to deny it even existed. Nevertheless, the family comes first and HAVING those kids is the most important thing, before anything material. The gift of life is the most precious of all God’s gifts. Since life is brought into the world in the midst of pain … it’s okay to hurt as you try to raise this life to its full potential. Only in the family, even though it may be a HURTING FAMILY can those trials be turned into successes with each family member learning to love more, listen more, learn the needs of others more, support more and share more the dreams of his brothers and sisters, father and mother. These successes build up the family, make it a stronger unit and make it hurt less.

There are other factors which ease the hurt, too. First of all, the Sacraments. Where would we be without the Sacraments of our Church? Without the Body of Christ? Oh, what a BALM! Without the life-giving waters of Baptism? And the mercy-forgiving benediction of Penance! Indeed, without them, we would have long perished in the entanglements of everyday living.

Secondly, our wonderful friends along the way! Without these most beautiful friends, laymen and religious, whom God has purposely placed in our paths with arms and hearts, open in unbelievable numbers all these twenty-nine years, it would have been nigh unto impossible for us to attempt to “climb every mountain,” or “ford every stream,” or “search every byway” to find our dream … Heaven!

Hurting. Yes, but there’s always help. Where? “O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer them! Amen.”